If only Sipho could lend a hand, or a textbook

It was a proud moment for South Africa when we learned that legendary singer Sipho Hotstix Mabuse finally acquired his grade 12 equivalent, at the age of 61 years. This monumental moment even warranted a special mention from the president.

Let me say, President Jacob Zuma is a good old guy. I would have been a tad bitter congratulating someone who kicked my rump academically, especially considering that he sings whilst I run the country. This, however, is no reason to judge the president. He’s clearly a big man in more ways than one.

 I think it would be splendid if JZ could take a leaf out of Sipho’s book and allow the songster to home school him. That way we all be proud and show reverence to our nations’ daddy. Imagine the joy our beloved president would feel, knowing the whole nation looks up to him instead of only miscellaneous women.

Seeing as promoting education is high on the agenda, it seems only logical to me that our front man lead by example. Providing Sipho agrees to help our alpha male in acquiring his qualifications, I already have an idea as to where they can start.

Given our president’s weakness for the female anatomy, I feel it is in his best interest to learn about sex education first. Even the true pro’s like Hugh Hefner still haven’t learned all the things they can, so no offence, Mr President. Sipho will teach him all about Biology and how to keep the human body clean and pure, showers aside. A cursory lesson on the virus, and how it spreads, wouldn’t do any harm either.

Dealing with large numbers is no easy feat. I remember struggling with mathematics and only when I found things to liken the numbers to, did it become easier. While learning his multiplication tables, he could use his wives in lue of numbers. If you took one Nkosazana Zuma and multiplied her by three, how many more Zuma’s would there be? Mr Pres, it may sound difficult, but you’ll get the hang of it, eventually.