Woe Awaits the Challenger

One naturally assumes the older you get, the wiser you become. This is a lie that has been perpetuated from generation to generation. It is only when one becomes involved in a relationship with the opposite sex that you realise how wrong you have been all along.

As a man, you feel duty bound to defend your spouse with all you have. She is, after all, the bearer of your children and the one who prepares your Med Lemon when you’re sick and sound like Snorre De Villiers.

Notwithstanding their kindness and tyranny masqueraded as affection, the truth is: as a man you are always wrong. For the younger men out there who feel they rule the household, this is a delusion that your better half allows you to think. Wait till you get older. If it wasn’t for the fact that cross-dressing isn’t socially acceptable, my lady would have me prancing around in her dresses and size 14 pants all day.

And the longer one remains in a relationship, the more things you find to argue about. For instance, when we first began dating, I’d choose the restaurants where we would dine. As a lady with a voracious appetite, she eats just about anything. Of late, she has developed an acute disparagement for everything I thought she enjoyed. She will argue to the death that she has never liked shellfish, yet our first date was at a seafood restaurant. I remember this because she is the only human I have ever seen who ate prawns, shell and all.

Admittedly, learning how to deal with women doesn’t come naturally. This is presumably why younger men have a hard time making it beyond the three-year phase. For them, they’re still under that illusion of being correct and having a right to voice their opinions.

I learned early on in my relationship that the only reason I have a voice is to generate an income through my radio show. Otherwise, and more particularly when I’m at home, it serves no purpose whatsoever.....

For further reading, copies of the book ‘Don’t Judge this Book by the Cover’ are available at Exclusive Books and CNA stores nationwide. You can order the book from Kalahari as well if you so wish. The link is below.